Chances Are Omnibus (Gender Swap Fiction) Read online

  I win the draw. I put one bullet in the throat of a guard. My second shot hits the other guard in the left eye. He has just enough time to scream before I put another bullet in his head. Pretty good shooting for me, but not good enough for Jake.

  “You idiot,” he hisses. “They probably heard that.”

  “Maybe—” I start to say until I hear footsteps rushing down the hallway. I barely have time to get the pistol back up before the three guards come around the corner. These ones aren’t nearly so casual. They have their weapons on their hips, ready for business.

  I fire without aiming. By some miracle the shot hits one guard in his gun arm. The weapon falls to the floor and fires a shot into the ceiling. Since any attempt at subtlety is screwed now, Jake opens up with his .45. He bullseyes one guard in the head. The other we hit at the same time: me in the right thigh and Jake in the throat.

  The one I winged in the arm reaches with his good hand for a pistol. Jake calmly puts a bullet in the man’s face. This battle is over. We wait a moment and listen. There aren’t any more footsteps. Did Lex only bring a half-dozen?

  We hurry around the corner; Jake goes in double-time now that our cover is blown. I recognize this corridor from the last time. Dr. Nath’s lab is just ahead. There’s no one to welcome us. I don’t hear any voices either. Did Lex already bug out? Did we miss him?

  No. Jake scurries across the doorway; a shot accompanies him. The bullet hits the wall. I take the closer side of the door. I peer around the corner—

  Lex faces the doorway. Just like before he has his gun pressed against a woman’s temple.

  This time it’s Dr. Palmer. “Throw your guns down or I kill the girl,” he says. Dr. Palmer gives him the same look to indicate she doesn’t like to be called a girl.

  I hear a man’s voice from inside the room say, “You kill her and the deal’s off.”

  “Is that so?” Lex says but doesn’t turn. “I doubt that. I’m the only one with the formula. You can always get another scientist.”

  “Give it up, Luther,” Jake says. “The only ways out of here are in handcuffs or a body bag. It’s your choice.”

  “Then it appears we have a standoff,” Lex says. Then he does something odd: he bobs his head. It’s just a slight movement, more like a twitch—

  There’s the boom of a pistol. This time when I’m shot, it’s not like a bee sting; it’s like someone ran a railroad spike through my left thigh. I drop to the floor, but manage to keep hold of my pistol.

  Jake stands over me, his gun pointed at my head. “Sorry, kid. It’s past your bedtime.”

  Chapter 47

  I look up at Jake with disbelief. I study his face, to see if there’s some kind of ruse at work here. There’s a secret language partners develop over twenty-five years. Just a twitch of the cheek or the blink of an eye can communicate volumes.

  There’s nothing written on Jake’s face. He just looks hopelessly sad and suddenly a lot older. “Why?” I say.

  “I didn’t have a choice. Jenny’s treatments cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. We were going to lose everything.”

  “So you took a bribe.”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “And what did you do to earn it?”

  “What anyone in his employ does. I made sure we busted the guys he wanted busted. I tipped him off on any raids.”

  “And you played me for a sap.”

  “I’m sorry, Steve. I knew you wouldn’t go along with it. You’d already lost everything after Debbie divorced you. You didn’t have any reason to go bad.”

  “But you did.”

  “Don’t act so high and mighty. If it had been Maddy, you would have done the same thing as me.”

  “I would never have taken money from a shithead like Artie Luther.”

  Jake gives me a nasty smile. “You think your hands are clean? You butchered Bobby Blades like a fucking hog. Then you stole his money and credit cards to treat yourself to a little vacation.”

  “You think that’s the same thing? Blades was dirtier than a convention of hobos.”

  “I did what I had to do to save my daughter!” I wait for him to pull the trigger, but he doesn’t. With his free hand he rips the Beretta out of my hand. He stuffs it into his pants. Then he motions to me with his gun. “Go on and get up, cupcake.”

  I do as he says. I don’t have any choice now. Maybe I could have tried to shoot him, but Jake is my partner. Was my partner. Now he’s just another of Lex’s thugs. Unbidden, tears come to my eyes. “You knew about the robbery,” I say. “You knew and you didn’t say anything. You let him do this to me!”

  “I’m sorry, Steve. I thought you would be too shit-faced at Squiggy’s to interfere. I didn’t know that fucking Worm would show up there.”

  “Now you’re going to let him keep me like this.”

  “Stop being so fucking dramatic.” He shoves me into the lab. I stumble and land at Dr. Palmer’s feet. Now that he’s safe, Lex has let her go. She takes me into her arms to press me close to her and stroke my hair. Jake motions to me with the gun. “Stop bawling, kid. Lennox is still going to get the formula. Palmer can still use it to try to find a way to make you normal again. The only difference is that Lex goes free. You can either accept that or end up in the harbor again.”

  “You son of a bitch!” I shout at him. There’s nothing I can do though but sob in Dr. Palmer’s arms like a child. Through my tears I watch as an older white man—the one I heard earlier—hands Lex a briefcase. Lex opens it to verify his payment. Then he takes out the silver case from his jacket.

  “Here you are, Dr. Lennox, as promised.”

  “And you don’t have any more copies of the formula?”

  “Of course I do. Should you try to cross me, I’ll send them to all of your competitors.” Lex motions to Jake. “Not that it matters. As you can see, I already own the police.”

  He snaps the briefcase shut and then tosses Lennox a mock salute. “Now, to attend to one final loose end.” Lex yanks me out of Dr. Palmer’s arms. She looks ready to leap after him, but Jake aims his pistol at her head. Lex drags me through the doorway by the arm. I could try to resist, but there’s no point, not with Jake behind him, his pistol at the ready.

  As we start down the stairs, Lex looks down at me. He smiles and asks, “Tell me, darling, can you swim?”

  ***

  Soon I’ll go full circle. I lie on the rotten dock with Lex and his new pal Jake over me. Lex grins evilly again. “She’s your partner. I’ll let you dispose of her,” he says to Jake.

  “You said you weren’t going to kill her.”

  Lex reaches down to pinch my cheek and then pat it. “We can’t leave our sweet little detective alive. She’d find a way to finish what she started eventually. Wouldn’t you, sweetheart?”

  “Go fuck yourself.”

  He hits me across the face with the butt of his pistol. I keep the tears at bay; they’ll only amuse a scumbag like Lex. I won’t give him the satisfaction of crying, not anymore. “Such language for a young girl.”

  “I’m eighteen, asshole.”

  “Not for much longer.” Lex stands back; he motions to Jake. “Dispose of her.”

  Jake stares at me for a moment. There’s nothing in that look but sadness. Then he puts his pistol away. He picks up a cinder block that lies near the base of the dock. He wraps a length of rope around the block. It’ll be more than enough to anchor me to the bottom of the harbor.

  “You son of a bitch!” I shout again. I spit in Jake’s face. He raises one hand as if to slap me, but he doesn’t.

  “Sorry, kid,” he says instead. When he turns his back to Lex, I finally get the look I’ve hoped for. It’s nothing much, just a glance down. But after so many years as partners, I know what he means.

  He wraps the rope around my right leg and starts to tie it. It might not be the sturdiest bond, but it only needs to last a few minutes, until I’ve drowned. “It didn’t have to be this way,” he says. “You should h
ave just stuck to your dollies.”

  “You saw what he did to me! I couldn’t let him get away with it.”

  “But I got away anyway,” Lex says, never one to miss a chance to gloat. “Any last requests?”

  “I already made it: go fuck yourself.”

  “Very well then. Off you go.” He gives me the same mock salute as Dr. Lennox. Jake scoops me up in his arms and uses one hand to secure me to his chest and the other to hold the weight that will seal my fate.

  “Goodnight, sweetheart,” he says and then tosses me in.

  ***

  This time I’m awake and in my body as I sink to the bottom of the harbor. I do what I can to take a breath before I hit the water. I won’t have a lot of time to get out of this.

  That look Jake gave me? It meant he didn’t tighten the rope to my leg. That was why he kept hold of the weight, so Lex wouldn’t see how loose it is on my ankle. It’s tight enough that I’m still sinking, but it should be loose enough for me to shake out of it.

  I can’t do that right away. Lex has to think I’m at the bottom of the harbor. He’ll watch for me, at least for a couple of minutes. If I pop right up to the surface, he’ll put a couple of bullets in me to make sure. He should have to start with, but he must have figured it’d be more fun to drown me. That way I struggle and gasp desperately for air to prolong my suffering. After what a pain in the ass I’ve been, I can’t blame him.

  The harbor isn’t deep enough here for the descent to take very long. About a minute by my reckoning. My lungs start to burn and I can see spots in my vision. The anchor hits the bottom first. The impact isn’t enough to spring me. I shake my leg frantically and ignore the pain from where Jake shot me.

  I start to panic. In that panic I open my mouth to scream. Now I don’t have any air left. Shit. My vision darkens. I think of Maddy. She’s lost me as Steve and now she’ll lose me as Stacey. At least she and Grace made up. They’re such a good couple, whether Grace appreciates that or not. Maybe she’s a lesbian, but my daughter will have a much happier marriage than I ever did.

  I’m still shaking my leg as I think my goodbyes. As I regret that I’ll never get to see my grandchildren, the rope slips off my ankle. I start to swim; my arms and legs flail faster than they ever have before. My vision continues to dim. I’m not going to make it—

  I pop up beneath the pier. I’m tempted to suck in air with loud gasps, but I resist that urge. I take smaller gulps, just enough to keep me going. My vision is clear enough that I can see two sets of feet above me.

  “That should do it,” Lex says. “It’s too bad. She was a pretty little thing. Deadly too. It’s a rare combination in a woman.”

  “That’s my partner you’re talking about.”

  “Yes, it is.” I hear the telltale click of a pistol being cocked. “But don’t worry, you’re going to join her soon enough.”

  “What? I did what you wanted—”

  “I know, but as they say in the spy movies, you know too much.”

  “Who am I going to tell? You already own the police.”

  “It doesn’t pay to take chances.”

  I don’t have time for anything fancy. From the click of the gun I drift over to the edge of the pier. With Lex’s last words, I’m in position. I reach over and grab his leg with both hands. In my old body I could have tossed him into the water, but as a girl all I can do is stagger him.

  That’s enough. His shot goes over Jake’s head. Jake’s shot goes into Lex’s head. I watch from the water as blood trickles down Artie Luther’s big, bald head. He looks at Jake in disbelief for a moment. Then he totters for a few seconds before he splashes into the water.

  With his last spiteful ounce of strength, he seizes me by the hair. He’s a lot heavier than any cement anchor. Once again I’m being pulled down into the harbor. I ignore the pain in my scalp and kick at him with my right leg. His eyes glare at me and his mouth is locked in a feral snarl. If he’s going to die, he’s going to take me with him.

  There’s still enough life in him that when my foot hits him between the legs, he lets go of my hair. Again I paddle for all it’s worth, away from Lex as he sinks to the bottom. Unlike his many victims he’ll probably surface again later, but I don’t care. All that matters is he’s dead.

  Jake seizes my wrist as I break through the water. He swings me onto the pier, where I flop around like a fish for a moment; I suck in air for the second time in five minutes. He slaps at my back to try in some vague way to help me.

  “Stop it,” I snap at him.

  “Sorry.”

  I roll into a sitting position. I fumble with the elastic band that ties back my wet hair and then shake it out. I smooth a soggy tress away from my face. “You son of a bitch.”

  I hear the click of a pistol again. I look up, but Jake doesn’t have it pointed at me—it’s pointed at his own temple. “I’m sorry, Steve. I never wanted this.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “I won’t go to prison. They’d eat me alive.”

  I stare at him for a moment. Part of me wants him to pull the trigger. It’s his fault I’m stuck as an eighteen-year-old girl. He helped Lex set up the Lennox robbery. He played me for years, to help his benefactor.

  The other part of me—the larger part—sees my best friend. I see the friend who helped me after Debbie left me and took Maddy with her. I see the partner who saved my ass numerous times, not just from bullets or knives, but also from inquiry hearings and Internal Affairs. He stuck up for me when I needed him to, covered for me when I crossed the line.

  “You won’t go to prison.”

  “I have to, Steve. We can’t cover this up.”

  “Why not? Lex is dead.”

  “Palmer and Lennox—”

  “They aren’t going to talk. Then they’d have to reveal how they bought their formula back from a known criminal.”

  “What about you?”

  “I won’t say anything. It’ll be just like the Mackenzie case.” I reach out to pat him on the knee. “You killed the most wanted man in the city. You’re a hero.”

  “I’m a fucking traitor.” He presses the gun tighter to his head. “I don’t want to live with it anymore. I’m tired of the guilt.”

  “Don’t do it, Jake. Think of Tess. She loves you.”

  “She hates me. It should have been me who died, not Jenny. That’s what she thinks.”

  “No she doesn’t. If she blames anyone, she blames herself. Instead of blaming yourselves, you two need to just sit down and talk it out. Get a fucking therapist.”

  Jake smiles slightly, which I consider progress. “What about you? How am I supposed to go on, knowing what I did to you?”

  “I’ll be fine,” I say. “You were right back there. If it had been Maddy, I would have taken the money from Luther. I would have done anything to try to save her, just like you did.”

  “You’re just saying that. The great Steve Fischer would never go bad.”

  “You said it yourself: I got plenty of blood on my hands. All those people I killed.” I can’t stop myself from crying now.

  And that turns out to be a good thing. Jake’s fatherly instincts take over. He puts down the gun and wraps me in his arms. “It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. All of it. Any blood on your hands is mine. You understand?”

  “Don’t kill yourself, Jake. I need you. Tess needs you. We’ve both lost enough. We can’t lose anything else. Understand?”

  He strokes my hair and whispers, “I understand.”

  After a while, he picks me up to carry me home.

  Epilogue

  I turn in the mirror and see the gold sparkle in my earlobe. I touch the gold stud and wince. “Is it going to keep hurting like that?” I ask.

  “It’ll be fine in a few hours,” the middle-aged woman who put the holes in my ears says. She gives me some instructions on how to care for my newly pierced ears. Just in case I forget, she gives me a sheet of paper.

  Maddy is the firs
t to pat me on the back. “They look great,” she says.

  “So do yours,” I say. I gesture to the diamond studs in her ears. She’s gotten rid of the others. For the first time in who knows how long, her hair is back to its natural brown. Over the last three weeks it’s grown out a little, so it doesn’t look as patchy.

  “Our little girl is growing up,” Grace says. She gives me a hug to congratulate me. It’s not a lover’s hug, just a friend’s hug. That’s all we are now, friends.

  We hashed out our differences a few days after Grace and Maddy’s reconciliation. Grace called me up and thanked me for helping her see the error of her ways. She invited me to come back to work at the shop. Without any other job offers, I agreed on one condition: from now on we’re only friends.

  Sometimes, like when Grace hugs me, I still think of our night together. At times like that, I force myself to remember Maddy. She comes first in my life from now on, even before the woman I love. Our hug ends much quicker than that selfish part of me that remembers Grace’s love would like.

  Maybe it’s not a big deal to get my ears pierced—there are babies with pierced ears these days—but it feels like one to me. It’s another threshold I’ve crossed on my way to womanhood. A month ago that prospect would have scared the shit out of me, but with every day it seems less scary.

  “Now, when are you going to get your first tattoo?” Maddy asks. “I think you should get a little butterfly on your chest. Something simple to start with.”

  “Not for a couple of weeks,” I say. “One thing at a time.”

  “Aw, don’t be a baby,” Maddy says. “I know a great place. They do real good work.” She lifts up the hem of her shirt so I can see the Chinese character on her back. “That didn’t even hurt.”

  Grace gives Maddy that old look to signal she’s crossed the line. “We can’t force Stace to get one if she doesn’t want it.”