Chances Are Omnibus (Gender Swap Fiction) Page 24

  “Nath’s lab, eh? Lex is a sucker for irony, I guess.”

  “Symmetry is more like it,” Jake says. He pushes the notepad back towards him. “I suppose you already figured it all out. They want the deal to go down in her old lab at midnight. Dr. Palmer will be there to verify a copy of the formula. If they try to screw Lex over, he’ll sell the original to the competition.”

  “Sounds like he’s learning.”

  “That was my thought.”

  “Are you really going to handcuff me to the bed?”

  “Will I need to?”

  I think for a moment. I should put up a fight about it, but Jake will carry through with his threat. “No. I’ll stay here with the women folk.”

  “Good. This is going to be tricky enough without some little hothead interfering.”

  Someone taps on the door. “Jacob, Stacey, dinner is ready,” Tess says.

  “Well, I could eat,” I say.

  ***

  The only movies I ever watched with Maddy were Disney ones like The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. I remember when she fell asleep in my arms on the couch. Then I would carry her back to bed and tuck her in. “G’night, Daddy,” she would whisper.

  It’s a little different this time. For one thing we both wear nightgowns and lie on the floor of Jake’s living room. For another, instead of a Disney movie we watch something called Twilight. I’ve never heard of it before, but Maddy says it’s her favorite movie. When did it replace Beauty and the Beast in her heart?

  Maddy crunches down a handful of popcorn and then sighs. “Do you think I could be as gorgeous as Kristen Stewart?”

  “Who?”

  She gestures to a pale brunette on the screen. “I mean, if I let my hair grow out and stuff. Don’t you think I’d be as cute as her?”

  I squirm a little at this question. I remember what Jake said about how creepy my relationship with Maddy is. Right now I have to agree with him. “I suppose so. You might have to stay out of the sun for a couple of months.”

  She slaps me on the arm and says, “Me-ow. I didn’t know you were such a little bitch.”

  “Well—”

  “I’m joking.” She throws a handful of popcorn at me. “Come on, loosen up.”

  “I’m sorry. This is kind of new to me.”

  “Yeah, it’s been a while since I did something like this. You know, just hang out with a friend, watching a movie and stuff.”

  “How long?”

  Maddy thinks about it for at least a minute. “About five years.”

  “That long?”

  “Yeah, that long. Believe it or not, I wasn’t that popular in high school. I never really had many friends. Not any I’d want to hang out with like this.”

  “Oh. That’s too bad,” I say, though inside I feel a surge of pride that Maddy considers me a good enough friend to hang out with. That or she’s just desperate to be away from her mother.

  “Jenny was always my best friend. When we were real little we’d sleep over at each other’s houses all the time. Then Mom and I moved into the city and I couldn’t see Jenny as much. And then, Jenny, you know—”

  “I know,” I say. I think back again to Jenny’s last days in the hospital. I never saw Maddy at the hospital, which was probably Debbie’s doing. “Tess said she was really nice.”

  “Yeah. She was like my little sister.” Maddy sighs and then gestures to the screen. “Wouldn’t it be great if you could live forever?”

  “But then you’d have to drink blood and stuff.”

  “So? I’ve drunk blood.” She stares at me for a moment before she laughs. “OK, it was Clamato juice at this Halloween party. We were all decked out in black and with the little plastic fangs. You should have seen what Grace was wearing. She had on these fishnet stockings—”

  Maddy stops and sighs. It seems we can’t shake the dark clouds hanging over us. I look at the clock and see it’s eleven o’clock. A half-hour until I told Grace to be here. And an hour until Artie Luther will meet with Dr. Palmer.

  I pat Maddy’s arm and say, “Grace will come to her senses. She just needs some time.”

  “Maybe I don’t want her to.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “If she’s going to be so flaky, then maybe I don’t want her around. I got enough bullshit in my life, you know?”

  “Yeah, maybe, but when you guys are together it’s like—” I struggle to find words for how to phrase it. “You two just seem so right for each other.”

  “Well obviously we’re not that right. Not if she kicks me out when I need her the most. I mean, my dad dies and all she can think about is herself and her stupid thesis.”

  When Maddy puts it like that, I wonder if I should have told Grace to come over here. “That’s true, but maybe it was because your father died. Maybe it reminded her of her mother dying.”

  “If that’s true then she should know how much it hurts. She should know I need her support.” Maddy shakes her head sadly. “I thought she loved me.”

  “I’m sure she does. It’s not always easy for people to express their feelings. Look at my parents. The only way they knew how to express their feelings was to get drunk and beat each other up—or beat me up. Maybe Grace just doesn’t know how to express what she’s feeling.”

  Maddy stares at me for a moment. “Wow,” she says. “That’s really deep. I think I was wrong. You shouldn’t be a social worker; you should be a shrink.”

  “I’m not sure that’s for me. I’ve got a lot of my own baggage, you know?”

  “So does Grace.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  We don’t say anything for a little while; we silently munch on popcorn as we watch the movie. It doesn’t seem like I’ve really helped Maddy get out of her funk. If anything she’s spread her funk to me. The movie is turned down low enough so I can hear something rattle against the window.

  “What was that?”

  “I’ll go check it out,” I say. I pretend like I’m looking out the window, but I already know what’s going on. I see Grace by the bushes. I motion her towards the front door.

  “What’s going on?” Maddy asks.

  “I think it’s a cat,” I say. It’s a stupid excuse, but the best I can think of. I go over to the door and open it as quietly as possible so I don’t alert Tess.

  Before Grace can say anything, I put a finger to my lips. Then I reach into a pocket of my nightgown for a little red box—the earrings I got from Amos. “These are for Maddy,” I say. “You’re so thoughtful, aren’t you?”

  Grace gives me a dirty look to indicate she’s doing this under duress. I take her arm and lead her to the living room. We just about run into Maddy, who’s saying, “Stacey, what’s—?” She and Grace stare at each other. “Grace? What are you doing here?”

  Grace looks down at her feet. “Stacey came to see me. She convinced me what a selfish bitch I was being. I’m sorry.” I nudge Grace in the ribs, not hard enough for Maddy to notice. “This is for you. Stace said you’d like it.”

  Maddy looks from Grace to me as she takes the gift. She rips the red paper off the box to reveal a gray velvet box underneath. She opens this and her eyes go wide. “Are these diamonds?”

  “Yep,” Grace says.

  “They’re beautiful.” She gives Grace a long, passionate kiss. Though at first Grace is unresponsive, she eventually gives in. When they finish, Maddy leans over to kiss me on one cheek. “Thanks, Stace.”

  “That’s what friends are for.”

  Maddy takes Grace by the hand to lead her into the living room. They face each other on the couch and hold hands. I listen at the doorway for a moment as they reaffirm their love. Despite what she said earlier, I think Grace means it. She just needed a good kick in the teeth to realize how much she loves Maddy. And despite what Maddy said earlier, I think she just needed Grace to do something unselfish, even under duress.

  I slip upstairs to give them some privacy. There’s no more time
to play Cupid; I’ve got work to do.

  Chapter 46

  Tess is the kind of organized woman who keeps a spare set of car keys on a pegboard in the kitchen. I snatch the keys off the board and then sneak into the garage. Tess is asleep upstairs; I poked my head in to make sure. Maddy and Grace are making out on the couch, all difficulties resolved at least for the moment.

  I get behind the wheel of the station wagon and then set the shoebox Amos gave me on the passenger’s side. The pistol is inside, along with the spare clips and silencer. I figure I’ll keep them in the box until I get to Lennox Pharmaceuticals just to make it more comfortable when I drive.

  The clock on the dash says I have fifteen minutes to get to Lennox Pharmaceuticals. I’ll have to drive like a NASCAR driver to make it. But the station wagon is up to the challenge with its big V8 engine. I roar out of the driveway and floor the accelerator as soon as I put it into drive.

  I don’t bother to stop or even slow down for stoplights or stop signs. I’m lucky that in Jake’s neighborhood not many people walk their dogs at midnight. There’s not much traffic either, so it’s easy to swerve around anyone who gets in my way.

  Once I’m into the city, the traffic gets heavier. I see a line of cars up ahead. I flash my high beams and hold down on my horn. One stalwart car refuses to get out of my way. I swerve onto the sidewalk and give him the finger as I race by.

  Someone else fancies himself a hero and tries to weave back and forth to keep me from getting by. Lucky for me this brave soul drives a Hyundai Sonata. I tap his rear bumper with the front bumper of the station wagon. Just like in NASCAR, he careens off the road, into a shoe store that’s closed for the night. I take a moment to look in the rearview mirror. There’s no sign of a fire; he’ll probably be fine.

  I’m lucky no cops see me. Maybe Jake cleared them away from the area so Lex wouldn’t be scared off. It’s two minutes until midnight when I yank the wheel hard to the left, onto the maze of service drives that run around the waterfront. There’s no traffic to speak of; I just have to be careful not to run into the forklifts and shipping containers left lying around for the night.

  I see the Lennox building ahead. I’m sure Lex and his crew are already there. Jake’s probably there too. And Dr. Palmer and her associates. I’m the late one to the party. I turn off the headlights as I approach so they won’t see me. No one fires at me as I skid to a stop beside the fence for the building.

  I turn off the engine and then roll down the window to listen. Silence. I guess no one’s seen me. That might make things easier. I open the shoebox. I haven’t ever used a silencer, but from the movies I know you’re supposed to screw it on. This is easier said than done. It takes a bit more torque than I expect to get the silencer on tight. I check the ammo load and hope Amos didn’t screw me on this deal.

  Then I stuff the spare clips into the waistband of my black pants. I open the door just enough to slide out. I shut it as gently as possible; I don’t want to let anyone know I’m here. Here we go.

  ***

  I follow the fence the way I did last time. I’m svelte enough now that I could try to squeeze beneath it. I think about it for a minute before I decide I’m not that svelte. Instead, I go to the end of the fence.

  I’m glad I didn’t wear one of my expensive pairs of shoes, just an old pair of work boots, as I sink into the water. Since I’ve lost about nine inches in height, the water comes up higher on me, up to my breasts. That makes it harder to wade through. The smell brings tears to my eyes and I start to wonder if I can really do this. I run through what I’ve already done to Lex’s henchmen—and Grace earlier—and decide I’m tough enough to handle a little muddy water.

  With the water higher on me and my arms not as strong, it’s a bit more difficult to lever myself onto the pier. I grunt as I free one leg from the water. I swing it up onto the pier and then with another groan bring my other leg out to join it. I take a few precious seconds to gather myself.

  I’m still on the pier when a flashlight blinds me. I scramble to find the pistol, but I’m too late. Someone grabs me by my ponytail and yanks my head back. I squeal with pain. Something cold and metal presses against my cheek. A gun, no doubt.

  “I figured you’d be here,” Jake says. He pushes me back onto the pier. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “Making sure Lex gets what’s coming to him,” I say.

  He blinds me again with the flashlight. “Yeah, well, I’m no babysitter.”

  I fumble around until I find the pistol. Though most of my vision is just green blotches, I hold the pistol up to where I think Jake is. “Not many little kids have one of these.”

  “Right,” Jake says. He takes my arm. “Come on, let’s go.”

  “I’m not leaving.”

  “I didn’t say that, did I? You just stay behind me. If something happens to you, Tess is going to cut off my balls.”

  “She doesn’t seem like the type for that.”

  “You’d be surprised.”

  I shiver at the image this brings up. “Let’s get moving,” I say.

  ***

  I follow Jake along the edge of the water. Lex doesn’t have any guards posted here, nor does Lennox. We stay low to the ground anyway, to minimize our profiles. I hear Jake grumble under his breath about his back, not to mention the annoyance of having some punk kid with him.

  “You can stay out here if you want,” I whisper. “I can handle him.”

  “I’ve seen how you handle things,” he says. “We’re going to do this the smart way for once.”

  He stops at the edge of the building. Like the warehouse farther along the waterfront, there’s a ladder that runs up the side of the building. A fire escape maybe. Jake ignores the old adage of ladies first and starts up. He continues to grumble as he climbs.

  “How’d you know this was here?” I ask.

  “I’ve been here for three hours,” he says. “I had plenty of time to scope the place out.”

  This I know is another jab at my tendency to rush into things. If I had called Jake the night of the robbery maybe we would have put an end to Luther then and I wouldn’t be wearing a bra and panties right now. Then again, we might both be dead. Who can say for sure?

  The ladder ends at a metal door. As I suspected, there’s a sign to indicate it’s a fire exit. Thank God for OSHA. From my position beneath the door, I watch Jake take out his knife to slice through some wiring. “You scope that out too?” I ask.

  “No. Just common sense that a fire door has a fire alarm.”

  My cheeks turn warm at this. I really have gotten soft. I hope we end this tonight, before I don’t have any cop instincts left.

  Jake opens the door. No alarms go off. Jake peeks his head over the edge, just enough to see down the hallway. When he’s sure it’s safe, he climbs inside. He holds the door open for me like a proper gentleman.

  “Where are we?” I ask.

  “Third floor, I think,” he says.

  “You don’t know? I thought you scoped it out?”

  “Smart-ass,” he grumbles. He takes his pistol from its holster and then flattens himself against the wall. I do the same and then edge down the corridor in time with him. At the corner, he stops and then winds his pistol around, followed by his head. Again, once he’s determined it’s safe, he motions for me to follow.

  When we walk past Dr. Nath’s office, I realize Jake is right; we’re on the third floor. Dr. Nath’s lab is two floors up. We start up the stairs. There’s no one on the fourth floor stairs. But halfway up to the fifth floor, Jake motions for me to stop. We hear a rough Eastern European voice grumble above us, no doubt someone on Luther’s payroll.

  We head back down to the fourth floor. “What’s the play?” I ask.

  Jake thinks about it for a minute and rubs his chin. “I got an idea, so long as you’re not opposed to humiliating yourself a little.”

  “If it means getting Lex I’ll get on all fours and squeal like a pig.�
�

  “You might have to before we’re done.” Then he tells me the plan.

  ***

  I creep up the stairs to listen for any noises. About halfway up, I hear a rough Eastern European voice again. A hiss of static accompanies it. Probably telling Lex no one is here.

  Jake might pat himself on the back for his cunning, but his plan is really the one I used on the Tall Man. Before I reach the landing, I work up some tears.

  I come around the corner, onto the landing. There’s a guard almost as big as Bruiser Malloy up there. He’s got a flak vest on, but his bald head is uncovered. When he sees me, he says in English, “Who you?”

  “Have you seen my mommy?” I whine. “She was working late and I fell asleep and now she’s gone.” The story doesn’t make sense, but he probably understands only every other word. The point is that I focus his attention on me.

  The silencer is as good as advertised. I hear a faint hiss of air and then a slug appears in the guard’s head. He pitches forward; I run up the stairs to grab him before he can tumble down, which would make a hell of a lot of noise. He’s too heavy for me to stop, but I manage to cushion his fall a little.

  I don’t wait for Jake to get up here; I open the door a crack and then peek out. There’s no one in this part of the corridor. They’re probably closer to the meeting place. I feel Jake tap me on the shoulder. He presses my pistol into my hand. “Nice weapon,” he says.

  “Yeah, Amos was due.”

  I open the door wider, so Jake can slip out. He motions for me to follow. We do the same shuffle along the corridor, down to the turn. I can hear voices nearby. More Eastern European ones of Lex’s hired muscle. They’re coming from the right.

  I don’t wait for Jake here either. I throw myself against the opposite side of the corridor and then spin around. There are two more guards down the corridor; they jabber to each other in Russian or Albanian or whatever it is. Even with the silencer the Beretta packs a wallop. It bucks in my hand and threatens to slip out. I steady my grip as they take their machine guns off their shoulders. It’s a Wild West showdown.